How habits form - and how to change them

Most habits don’t start as a problem. They usually begin to cope, switch off, or get through a moment. Over time though, they can start to feel automatic - happening before you’ve even made a conscious choice.

Understanding how habits form is the first step toward changing them.

How habits take hold

Habits are often driven by unconscious, compulsive urges, not deliberate decisions. These urges usually serve a purpose at first. They’re attempts to move away from discomfort and towards relief.

Common reasons habits form include trying to escape:

• Boredom

• Anxiety

• Low mood or depression

• Stress or emotional pressure

At the same time, habits often promise something positive, such as:

• Pleasure or excitement

• Relaxation or relief

• Confidence or a sense of control

• Comfort or self-esteem

This push–pull creates a powerful loop.

The role of dopamine and “Seeking Behaviour”

At a brain level, habits are strongly influenced by dopamine-driven seeking behaviour. Dopamine isn’t about pleasure itself - it’s about anticipation and relief. It motivates you to repeat whatever seems to help you feel better, even briefly.

When a habit delivers that sense of relief, your brain takes note. Over time:

• The brain’s reward circuitry reinforces the behaviour

• Neural pathways strengthen (“what fires together wires together”)

• The habit becomes more automatic and easier to trigger

• The urge can show up before conscious thought

This is why habits often feel like they “just happen”.

For some substances, there may be a chemical dependence involved. Substances such as nicotine, alcohol, and certain drugs can change how the brain regulates dopamine. As tolerance builds, the body can begin to rely on the substance to feel “normal,” leading to withdrawal symptoms like irritability, restlessness, low mood, or anxiety when it’s reduced or stopped.

Where a chemical dependence is part of the picture, hypnotherapy is often used as part of a broader support plan, and I’m happy to work alongside your GP or other health professionals so changes can happen in a steady, supported way.

Why willpower usually isn’t enough

Many people blame themselves for not being able to stop a habit. They try harder, make promises, or rely on motivation - only to feel frustrated when the behaviour returns. The problem isn’t a lack of willpower.

Once a habit is reinforced at a nervous-system level, the voice in your head isn’t strong enough to override dopamine-driven urges. Insight alone doesn’t undo automatic patterns, especially when stress, fatigue, or emotions are involved.

This is why people often say, “I know why I do it - I just can’t stop.”

How hypnotherapy can help change habits

Hypnotherapy works at a deeper level than the voice in your head — the part of the system where habits are maintained.

Rather than relying on force or self-control, hypnotherapy helps:

• Reduce the emotional charge behind urges

• Interrupt automatic habit loops

• Change how the brain responds to triggers

• Build alternative responses that feel natural, not forced

By working directly with the patterns that drive habits, change becomes easier to sustain - especially when habits are linked to stress, anxiety, low mood, or past experiences.

If you’d like to learn more about how hypnotherapy supports habit change, you can read more here: Manage addictive habits with hypnotherapy

Moving forward

Habits aren’t a personal failure - they’re learned responses. When you address the underlying drivers rather than fighting the behaviour itself, real change becomes possible.

Support can help you respond differently, regain control, and break patterns that no longer serve you.